A question for MKs on “Adopt a Missionary”
A question for MKs on starting an “adopt a missionary” program! Could you offer some advice and recommend some links? This email was forwarded to us, so I’ll paste it here.
“I signed up with interest in starting an adopt a missionary program at our church. Children are a wonderful part of the church body and I am trying to ensure that our adults and children minister to the whole family. We are also close to Ft. Campbell, KY and I am retired military and military kids are sometimes in the same category as missionary kids….they’re different in their culture and fit into a group to themselves. Ministering to them is almost like ministering to missionary children.
Thank you for answering me back and I have already learned much about ministering to these children. Your website has been a great help in making me even more sensitive in ministering to our missionaries. ”
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7 Comments to “A question for MKs on “Adopt a Missionary””
December 30th, 2007 at 2:41 pm
They could read the TCK book, if they feel ambitious. If they found this site helpful, they might also find mknet helpful. www.mknet.org
They could ask their missionaries what kind of support they need most. Maybe visit them? Also, it’s a great encouragement to missionaries just to know that someone is praying for them.
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December 30th, 2007 at 2:49 pm
The TCK book that I mentioned is, of course, this one:
Pollock, David & Ruth Van Reken, (2001) Third Culture Kids: The Experience of Growing Up Among Worlds.
Nicholas Brealey Publishing/Intercultural Press. ISBN 1-85788-295-4
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December 30th, 2007 at 7:54 pm
As an MK (albeit an older, married one), I would have loved to feel truly connected to my new community when I returned to the US from Europe. As an MK, our “field” was very close, a family. America felt huge and impersonal to me when I first returned at the beginning of high school.
Potlucks and socials were great, but sometimes left me feeling as if I were just a novelty, “look at the missionary kid”.
I would have preferred, or had in addition to the potlucks, a family or two with kids my age to help me navigate through the bumpy social waters in high school.
Someone that attended my high school, who could show me around the school I was going to be attending, tell me the way the schedule works, fill me in on teachers, etc. When I went to high school, I didn’t even know how to undo a locker combination.
I hope some of this helps. The loneliness was the most difficult aspect for me.
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January 8th, 2008 at 1:21 am
There are lots of books on Mks that they could read as well as the TCK books I would suggest if they are going to send birthday gifts and stuff a magazine subscription becasue those are sometimes hard to find and will be read but if they do that they need to send the magazines in brown envelopes or in many countries they will never arrive.
having a support network for returning missionaries and Mks would be a good thing too I know there are some churches who do this but I don’tknow where to find the information. There are also MK retreats around for re-entry and they could make that information available.
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January 8th, 2008 at 10:27 am
Little things to remember when sending stuff to MKs and their families: the mail takes a long time to get there (in most of the world), they lead busy lives, the mail takes a long time to get back… If you don’t get a reply until 6 or 8 months later, it probably still meant more to them than you can possibly imagine.
Also, if kids from your church are trying to reach out to the mks, be aware that a lot of mks don’t know how (or don’t want) to be social, even in their loneliness. It doesn’t mean they hate people, it just means they may not know how to relate. If you take the time to reach out to them, you may make a big difference in their lives, but it’s going to take time.
Story: One church sent a box to my family for Christmas every year when we were on the field (they may still send one). Each person got two gifts (as requested through a questionnaire sent around July). But an old couple in the church also sent a bag of marshmallows each year for the kids. The fact that there was going to be a bag of marshmallows in there often mean more even than the requested gifts. The marshmallows showed that somebody was REALLY thinking of us, they’d showed that by doing it for more than a decade. I don’t know how to tell you the “moral of this story.” But if you can somehow show the kids that you actually care and aren’t doing a checklist, you will impact their lives.
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January 8th, 2008 at 11:56 am
I agree with Matthew’s comment — it’s the little things like consistently sending a bag of marshmallows (or whatever) that mean a lot. Like he said, it seems like you’re not just doing a checklist; you’re actually thinking of them.
And yes, the mail does take a long time. If you haven’t gotten a thank you note yet, it could be that the package hasn’t even arrived yet, or it has arrived and there simply hasn’t been an opportunity to write, or they’ve written and haven’t had a chance to take it to the post office. Most missionaries don’t work nine-to-five jobs; they sort of work all the time. (I knew this as an MK, and I know it even more now as a missionary. And I’m not as busy as some, or I wouldn’t be on this site!)
Those care packages mean an awful lot. Every time we get one, it feels like Christmas! We all gather around and share the contents, and I can’t express how much it means to us. For one thing, missionaries tend to have salaries that don’t meet their needs, and anything that comes in a care package is an extra treat. I appreciate that even more now as an adult. For another thing, the missionary life is at times lonely or discouraging, or just plain hard, and it means a lot to know that someone is thinking of you. Again, I appreciate that more now as an adult missionary. Kids usually aren’t aware how hard it is.
One thing that can help a lot with the MKs is to develop some level of relationship with them. Write to them, be aware of their needs and wants, pray for them, and send them things. When they repatriate for college, they won’t feel as much like they are going to a foreign country if there’s someone there who has been friendly and taken care of them in the past. And I think that when the MKs need the most help and encouragement is after they are newly repatriated. Just having someone they trust who can tell them how to mail a letter, how to buy a coke, or how to pump gas, is priceless.
When you send a package, you should be aware that some things shouldn’t be mailed. Different countries have different laws about what can be legally imported, and some items are highly taxed and it is the recipient who has to pay the tax. And send them nice things, please. Most of us aren’t picky, but believe it or not we did once have to pay to get a box of used toothbrushes! (We didn’t appreciate that at the time, but it did provide a lot of laughs over the years.)
To some it all up: Pretty much anything you do to let them know you are thinking about them, is a priceless blessing!
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November 12th, 2008 at 10:07 pm
I can remember one lady who would send birthday cards to each of us kids, every year without fail. Of course, I never go mine until Feb, with an Oct b-day, but the cards were also so great to get. They always included a hand-written note inside the card telling us how she was praying for us and thinking of us.
I never really appreciated how much it meant to me until one year the card did not come at all…she had passed away.
That lady’s cards were one of those little things that will stick with my forever.
However you want to ‘adopt’ a missionary, go for it! Almost anything could make a difference.
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