A Friend’s Note: My name is not Suzie Wong
A friend posted this on Facebook, and I thought it was pretty damn funny. So I post it here for your pleasure:
It’s quite sad that in this day and age, race is still such a defining point of who and what you are. Seems like no matter what my personality is like, what my life experiences were, people will see my Asian face and define by that.
I think in English, I read in English, I write in English, it’s my native language and it’s the language I know best. But people always feel so compelled to tell me,”Wow your English is really good.” It’s like someone telling me,”Wow, you blink really good, you do it without thinking.”
Even worse are people who dumb down their English when they speak to me because they assume I can’t speak English. “You very good drawer. You draw the picture so nice.”
Me: “Thanking you so very much, mister. You is talking bullshit very good.”
And then there’s the men with Asian fetishes. Ah, well, what can you say about a man who pursues Asian women because he has fantasies of having a quiet, obedient Asian wife/chef/concubine who will wash his feet for him when he comes home from work while hand-feeding him dim sum at the same time?
Don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing wrong with the stereotypes, they became stereotypes for a reason; because they are common characteristics of Asian culture. It’s also okay to laugh at them and make fun of them, there’s nothing wrong with laughing at one’s own culture. The perfect ultimate culture does not exist. All cultures have their own flaws, and it is by no means unpatriotic to recognise and acknowledge this.
However, it is not okay for one to tell people they should change their culture and their way of thinking just because they are different from his. Something that is acceptable in one country may not be acceptable in another because of differences in culture. It can be confusing and unnerving to have to live a way of life that is so different from what one is used to.
So what should one do?
Option A: Accept that different countries have different ways of thinking and different philosophies of life. Acknowledge that it may be shocking or bizarre but respect that country’s culture and rules of behaviour while living there.
Option B: Tell the people of that country that they should follow what is done in your country. When explained the rules of behaviour of that country, refuse to follow them and instead preach about how things are done in your country.
Sadly, there are many people in this world who choose option B when visiting another country.
Daniel Nguyen-Phuoc
Vietnamese in ethnicity, born in Houston, Texas. Lived in Jakarta, Indonesia for 14 years while going to a British International School to finish with the International Baccalaureate. Survived only two years in the University of Michigan before ending up in Switzerland. Graduated from an international (and that's meant in every word) hospitality college. Interesting life, to be sure. But not the only one.Related Posts
10 Comments to “A Friend’s Note: My name is not Suzie Wong”
June 8th, 2008 at 12:52 am
Some people are really stupid…. I’m white, and when I say white I really do mean paper white…never mix irish with danish… no tanning possibilities whatsoever….
sorry, regular rant of mine, especially after living in ‘pore!!
Otherwise, my point was, I’m white. I speak english fluently, all my life and such, as above, and when I tell people where I come from they even say to ME
‘Oh, how is your english so good???’
“I’ve spoken it all my life, you know, my dads irish, he speaks english. why wouldnt I???”
Sometimes, the still don’t get it…
But seriously, I don’t get how some people just cant make a leap of faith every once in a while!
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June 11th, 2008 at 10:21 pm
When one is in a box all their life they will remain in the box for the rest of their life…sad but true.
The 500 meter radius is their life and that’s all it matters. Anything unacceptable within that 500 meters is blasphemous!!
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June 12th, 2008 at 12:12 am
lol…Cynthia. How true.
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June 30th, 2008 at 7:36 am
awww god I HATE MEN WITH ASIAN FETISH!!
Why??? Because the truth is! YES a lot of my asian girlfriends are submissive, clingy and naive like the way they want. and it disgusts the hell out of me when I see my girlfriends actually believing they are in love with that man! Then they expect all this quiet, romantic cutsy relationship, then they become all dependent and just put themselves in this extremely dangerous relationship AW I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT SO MUCH and when I try to tell them those men are goddamn pedophile/fetish they don’t BELIEVE ME and they ignore me. Then in the end the girls get scarred for life and then they know what I was talking about.
Ergh I hate asian fetish men. In fact I went through this phase, when I decided if any asian fetish men come across my way, I am going to break them mentally, emotionally in the exact same way they break my girl friends.
That will teach them about their ideal of “innocent asian girls who are completely harmless and docile and soft as a feather.”
they need to know that some asian girls are actually extremely cunning and smart. In fact some of them will break the men instead of getting broken.Yah that’s kind of mean but I seriously hate them.
and no I don’t do that anymore. =P
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June 30th, 2008 at 8:31 am
mmmmmm: It’s not just the men who have Asian fetishes who are like that. There are lots of men out there who go around ‘messing’ with women for whatever reason. There are English men who mess with English women and any other women they can get their hands on. American men who, blabla… No nationality is innocent.
I think it just seems even more offensive when it’s interracial because it looks like ‘racism’ has somehow made its way into the equation of a man who’s just being abusive with women. :s
I know what you mean though…but let’s try not to be too hateful. Instead, if any of your female friends are ever treated in the wrong way - stand-up for them and help them.
As for women who insist on getting themselves into these situations despite all warnings from their friends….there is nothing you can do to stop them from making the same mistakes over and over again because they refuse to listen. :s
As a friend, all you can do is help them if they ask.
We are all just human beings trying to get through life …we can’t fix all the ills of the world.
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July 13th, 2008 at 6:19 pm
@ayako, hahahaha ayako…i just get extremely angry and passionate when this topic is mentioned. because ppl i noe get victimized too easily and i don’t even have enough time to warn them…ergh LOL
and yes ur right, it’s because there’s the racism invovled that I am especially angry about. because ergh it’s just wrong for them to assume that just because they are a specific race you can abuse them.
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July 13th, 2008 at 10:21 pm
mmmmmmm: Welcome to Asia LOL So many you might as well go on a homicidal rage (KIDDING KIDDING!!!) XD
But I know what you mean. Some are truly genuine (I’ve met a couple of white guys who has Asian wives but treat them like wives and not because they are Asian), some just wants to play…
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July 14th, 2008 at 1:51 am
The reference to ‘homicidal rage’ brings an evil smile to my lips. :p
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July 14th, 2008 at 2:20 am
Dan, that is brilliant.
“Even worse are people who dumb down their English when they speak to me because they assume I can’t speak English. “You very good drawer. You draw the picture so nice.”
Me: “Thanking you so very much, mister. You is talking bullshit very good.”
I LOLED.
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July 14th, 2008 at 6:27 am
@Cynthia: yes that’s exactly what I did when I was in China…
No not really but i was angry lol
@ayako: it gives me evil smile too =)
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