Originally published on December 29, 2007 @ 13:01.
This is a writing exercise w/ health benefits. Name 3 reasons Why being a TCK is challenging. (Very popular article with 162 comments)
Do you think being a Third Culture Kid is challenging? Some people seem to think so, but they haven’t been allowed to grieve for their hidden losses. “You lived a privileged lifestyle, what are you complaining about?” parents often remind them.
While there are many positive benefits to a cross cultural childhood, it’s important to acknowledge losses. According to research, when people are given the opportunity to write about emotional upheavals, they often experience improved health.
“Grief is healthy and has a purpose.” writes Tom Query, a counselor who has helped Third Culture Kids and over 1,000 victims from NYC from grief and trauma.
“But why write about negative emotions? Isn’t that a bad idea?”
Pennebaker, a professor in the Department of Psychology at The University of Texas at Austin is a pioneer in the study of using expressive writing as a route to healing. His research has shown that short-term focused writing can have a beneficial effect on everyone from those dealing with a terminal illness to victims of violent crime to college students facing first-year transitions.
“When people are given the opportunity to write about emotional upheavals, they often experience improved health,” Pennebaker says. “They go to the doctor less. They have changes in immune function. If they are first-year college students, their grades tend to go up. People will tell us months afterward that it’s been a very beneficial experience for them.”
What could you explore writing about?
Many Third Culture Kids have expressed having restlessness, a lack of identity, short-term relationships and unresolved grief. It’s not surprising to find out that some TCKs have had to deal with issues like depression, drugs, alcoholism, and self-injury.
-Do you feel like you don’t belong anywhere?
-Do you have short-term relationships and friendships (18 months to 2 years)?
-Do you have a lot of unresolved grief and sadness for breaking off relationships and friendships?
-Do you feel restless and unable to deal with it?
-Have you always felt you never got a say when your parents decided to move?
We have many hidden losses and unresolved grief. It’s time to write about them.
This post is about naming 3 reasons why being a TCK is challenging. Name your losses and allow yourself to write about your deepest feelings.
What did you lose? What are you really angry or sad about? What are your fears? Who hurt you and who did you hurt?
You can express yourself and post anonymously if you want.
The purpose of this post isn’t to neglect the positive benefits of growing up cross culturally, but it’s to help you put your post losses behind so you can use all the rich gifts this experience has to offer.
ON THE POSITIVE SIDE: Top 10 Positive Reasons to be a TCK Read reasons why being a TCK has been a positive experience. Should my children be TCKs?
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