3 Reasons Why Being a TCK is Challenging. (Share your burdens here)
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This is a writing exercise. Name 3 reasons Why being a TCK is challenging.
Do you think being a TCK sucks? Well, some TCKs seem to think so. It’s challenging if you have restlessness, a lack of identity, short-term relationships and unresolved grief. If you’ve been on the site long enough, then you won’t be surprised to find out that some TCKs have had to deal with issues like depression, drugs, alcoholism, and self-injury.
-Do you feel like you don’t belong anywhere?
-Do you have short-term relationships and friendships (18 months to 2 years)?
-Do you have a lot of unresolved grief and sadness for breaking off relationships and friendships?
-Do you feel restless and unable to deal with it?
-Have you always felt you never got a say when your parents decided to move?
We have many hidden losses and unresolved grief. It’s time to write about them.
This post is about naming 3 reasons why being a TCK is challenging. Name your losses and allow yourself to write about your deepest feelings.
“Why write about negative emotions? Isn’t that a bad idea?”
Pennebaker, a professor in the Department of Psychology at The University of Texas at Austin is a pioneer in the study of using expressive writing as a route to healing. His research has shown that short-term focused writing can have a beneficial effect on everyone from those dealing with a terminal illness to victims of violent crime to college students facing first-year transitions.
“When people are given the opportunity to write about emotional upheavals, they often experience improved health,” Pennebaker says. “They go to the doctor less. They have changes in immune function. If they are first-year college students, their grades tend to go up. People will tell us months afterward that it’s been a very beneficial experience for them.”
So.. what did you lose? What are you really angry or sad about? What are your fears? Who hurt you and who did you hurt?
You can rant and express yourself and post anonymously if you want by logging in as “anonymoustck”.
Username:anonymoustck
Password:anonymoustck
ON THE POSITIVE SIDE: Should my children be TCKs? and What’s the best thing about being a TCK? Read reasons why being a TCK has been a positive experience.
April 21st, 2009 at 7:32 pm
(mono parents who don’t believe in TCKness)
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April 30th, 2009 at 12:42 am
I was wondering whether there are people out there who experience a nagging sense of fatique, the type of being drained after you have spent decades struggling with circumstances or fighting battles between self and your environment. I am an ATCK (62) and am in such a situation. It would help me tremendously if someone came forward and contact me on this issue. A response is for sure to come. My e-mail: MJaeschke25@aol.com. Thanks alot.
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April 30th, 2009 at 4:53 am
Experiencing fatigue from the stress-points (”weird-points”?) between me and the monocultural environment - I’m definitely experiencing that.
And it becomes more evident as I enter the life phase where I’m busy building a family.
But I don’t know if I have any real suggestions. At present I feel the temptation to retract from parts of my social life, for lack of positive feedback.
What if I choose to do so? Would that make me feel any better handling my monocultural surroundings? How about when my kids grow up and leave? Any experiences?
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April 30th, 2009 at 5:43 am
Sven, I am aware of the difficulties you and I experience and that we do not have any ready-to use answers. I just noticed that this feeling of fatigue and a good deal of hopelessness which I share with you (because I am in the same boat) has become amblified and it impacts my work and relationships. People say: “You are different today! What´s up,now?” The reaction usually comes not from monocultural guys but foreigners.
With regard to your question: Unfortunately, I have been single all my life. I am surrounded by twin sisters who came from Turkey (I “am incarcerated” in Germany). My life has had some nasty turns and twists. When your children start their own lives then you will have time to do some of the things you have not done for ages, like some of your favorite pasttimes. I think everyone has something along that line. You will keep some form of contact and will be able to develope other skills beyond that. I, for instance, have been using my time for reading and translating. I do have some projects on the backburner which, given the health and strength, I can still pursue. Maybe this will help you a little. Please feel free to come back and give me a feedback. Thanks and God bless
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May 18th, 2009 at 9:58 am
Burden….
Someone gave me a awesome quote:
“Any burden is a resource; any resource is a burden”……
I like the quote, despite of hating the person who gave it to me!!!
He doesn’t believe in TCKness!!!!
我只要想到就生氣!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 幹!!!!!!!……….凸ˋ口ˊ+凸
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