17 Ways to Help Third Culture Kids
How can friends and parents help TCKs? If you want to help Army Brats, Missionary Kids, Third Culture Kids, or Cross Cultural Kids, then you will find those tips useful. Feel free to share your ideas in the comments.
1. Begin a relationship with one—or with a whole family of TCKs. Commit to keeping in touch with them. Many people are in TCK’s lives for only a short time. The long-term people are few and greatly appreciated. Be one of those long-term people.
2. Seek them out when they are “home” visiting your country. Make it a priority to spend time with them when they come back.
3. Learn their names. This may seem small, but many people only know their parents’ names; it is significant to them when people remember their names as well.
4. Listen to them. Ask meaningful questions about their lives.
5. Introduce your kids to them. Encourage them to exchange pictures with each other and send cards and emails to each other when they are apart.
6. Go visit them in their country!
7. Invite a college-age TCK whose parents are overseas to live with you.
8. Invite TCKs who are in your area without their parents to come over for holidays and school breaks. They may need an adopted family.
9. Learn about what it’s like to grow up as a TCK. Visit websites like TCKid.com or TCKworld.com
10. Communicate with their parents and encourage them in their relationship with their parents.
11. Encourage families as they make decisions for educating their children overseas. Many families choose to use local schools so their child can be a part of the culture. Some find that boarding school is the best option for their children. Other families desire to homeschool their children. Consider sharing your resources with them or visiting a homeschooling fair on their behalf.
12. Consider giving them your frequent flyer miles to help with transportation to and from their two countries.
13. Send quality paperback books to TCKs overseas. Books can be like best friends and will be re-read and shared with others.
14. Don’t be surprised if TCKs do not seem to appreciate your culture like you do. TCKs often feel overwhelmed by all the excesses in American culture. For example, they may feel surprised by the size of grocery stores, how often people eat out, the high cost of entertainment and how often people “splurge,” the lack of modest clothing even in the church, the sensuality in TV shows and movies, and how much people eat in one sitting.
15. Get advice right from the source—ask TCKs what makes them feel loved and supported.
For Missionary Kids
16. Pray for the TCKs when you pray for their parents. Pray Scripture for the children. Read some suggestions on how to pray for them.
17. Be encouraging and pray that their children will shine for Jesus in their schools.
*bonus. 18: Learn the common characteristics of TCKs to better understand them. You can read them here.
Got any ideas? Share yours!
Related Posts
12 Comments to “17 Ways to Help Third Culture Kids”
March 6th, 2008 at 1:08 am
I agree with the frequent flyer miles.
I wish I had people lining up at my door to give me theirs. ^^
(Is this spam?)
March 6th, 2008 at 6:05 am
6. Go visit them in their country! < —Gee I wish someone had done this all the years I was grounded in Japan. Nobody could be bothered to go there :p
(Is this spam?)
March 6th, 2008 at 6:26 am
13. Send quality paperback books to TCKs overseas. Books can be like best friends and will be re-read and shared with others. < —This is a good one but why just books?
I used local mail order companies to send my sister stuff when she was getting her master’s degree in Syracuse, New York.
I sent her Maine apples, chocolate decadence cake etc. via L.L. Bean, Lands End, etc. In the UK, companies like Thorntons & Cadbury deliver!
Her German room mate was very jealous of these but she got to eat them too so what is she complaining about!
Well from her reaction it’s clear that it’s not just the goods that matter but the fact that someone cared enough to send you something!
(Is this spam?)
March 6th, 2008 at 8:35 am
Likewise. I went and visited people in the UK on several occasions, but for some reason it was never a good time for a lot of them to come to the US or Switzerland.
If you’ve money problems, that happens. But it’s the people who fly halfway across the world on their parents’ budget to where their parents are living and party all summer who I’m talking about. -.-
I think it’s the detachment that comes with leaving. You’re not as connected, and you’re used to living in the moment, so the people who aren’t there right THERE and THEN aren’t as important as those who are.
(Is this spam?)
March 7th, 2008 at 4:59 am
after ayako’s brief food talk, my stomach growled.. But anyways..
I wish i can get out and visit friends in other countries! XD
Lol. I’m broke though..
(Is this spam?)
March 9th, 2008 at 1:34 pm
14. Don’t be surprised if TCKs do not seem to appreciate your culture like you do. TCKs often feel overwhelmed by all the excesses in American culture. For example, they may feel surprised by the size of grocery stores, how often people eat out, the high cost of entertainment and how often people “splurge,” the lack of modest clothing even in the church, the sensuality in TV shows and movies, and how much people eat in one sitting.
I agree with all the food stuff (Hello? Moderation? Self-control?) but I see it rather the opposite way when it comes to the modesty. To me, Americans have a pretty dysfunctional and unrealistic relationship to their bodies and nudity to the point where I wonder if they avoid looking at themselves in the mirror at home without clothes on, in case they might have to face the terrible truth that THEY ARE NAKED sometimes. (Also, who other than Americans goes to church?
) In my opinion, the “sensuality” in media is rather crude and a little… smacking of being 15 years old. It’s just not very sensual. It’s more like “ooh! ooh! NUDITY!!! You can see HER SHOULDER!!! EXCITEMENT!!” Well, maybe not quite *that* prudish, although I have days when I wonder about that. Even though people wear normal clothes here, there’s a tension about it, sometimes to the point where people wear the wrong clothes at the wrong time such that it becomes tacky almost in defiance of the dislike of nudity. People aren’t even comfortable being naked in a sauna! For me, that’s definite proof of having nudity issues. Apparently, there’s another way to see it 
(Is this spam?)
March 18th, 2008 at 11:43 am
oh, I miss Cadbury chocolates sooo muuuch!!!
Feel free to send them to me
(Is this spam?)
March 18th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
me too!!! I wish I could eat some right now! You can send them to me while you are at it.
(Is this spam?)
April 11th, 2008 at 12:14 am
Interesting concept, Tess. Once, I considered nudity not much of a big deal but I think I have become much Americanized now–uncomfortable when it comes to nudity issues–not to mention that I spatially keep 2-ft distance from everyone else (which i pretty American).
(Is this spam?)
April 11th, 2008 at 12:14 am
(*which is pretty American) although I am not sure if they are related or not.
(Is this spam?)
April 11th, 2008 at 1:11 am
I think one thing that might help TCKs is to indeed remember that we don’t have to change everything about ourselves or embrace everything different from ourselves.
You can always say: How interesting. Is that what you consider to be normal? I had no idea. That’s really interesting but it’s not for me.
(Is this spam?)
December 17th, 2008 at 2:36 am
OMG, I litterally read the entire Fiction section of the local english written libraries and that was probably the source of my ability to spell CORRECTLY back then. I haven’t had time/energy to read for fun in soooooo long…needless to say I can’t spell in any language >.<
(Is this spam?)